Don't Quit
Although I have read and even quoted this scripture, many times, today it seems more poignant. Whenever I read a scripture that specifically touches my heart, I ask myself the question, “What do I need to learn from this?”
I can remember when growing up as a Pastor’s Kid, my parents would have discussions with me and my sisters about the future. We were frequently included in discussions about our next move as a family but of course, the children did not make the decisions! My parents would always defer to the plan of God and finding His will for the next step.
When I was just finishing 7th grade, I had a friend named Judy who was also a PK but her family was a part of the Presbyterian denomination. My parents had made a decision that we were leaving our current home in Knoxville, Tennessee and moving to Gainesville, Georgia. When Judy and I were talking one day about our relocation, she asked, “Why are you moving?” I told her simply, “It is God’s will.” “What in the world is that? God’s willing?” It was at that moment that I realized that not everyone, even some pastoral families, made it a point to search for God’s plan in their lives, His will for the next step in their life’s journey.
We moved that summer and it proved to be one of the most important steps for our family as we saw God do supernatural things in the church where my Dad was the new pastor.
As I grew, my Dad reiterated to both my sisters and me that there was nothing more important in life than finding God’s will for our lives. I struggled for many years looking for the BIG plan that God was supposed to reveal to me. As I approached my high school graduation and my college years, I was still unsure of the BIG plan. I just didn’t know God’s will for my life. In retrospect, I guess I was searching for a moment of epiphany or an audible voice from heaven saying, “This is the way, walk ye in it!” It didn’t come.
I was in turmoil. I waited and waited, not knowing what I was supposed to do. Go to college? Stay home and work? Go to vocational school? Get married? Where did I fit in the family of God? I cannot express to you how afraid I was of missing God’s plan for my life and not following through with what He wanted me to do.
I remember one particular night being at a youth service in Elberton, Georgia and praying at the altar, asking for God to reveal to me what I was supposed to do with my life. I wept and pleaded for God to speak to me, to show me the BIG plan. He didn’t reveal himself to me at that moment but I somehow knew that my heart had surrendered to Him, to do whatever He wanted me to do, regardless of the BIG plan.
The next few days were days of peace but I still had huge, probing questions about my life. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or where I would be in the grand scheme of things. I had graduated from high school, was so confused, yet somehow knew that God would soon reveal His will for my life. As I struggled to set things in order for my life, I just KNEW in my heart that I was supposed to head to college and that God would reveal to me His BIG plan.
Over the next few years, I realized that God was not revealing his BIG plan but he was revealing my next step. Yes, I was still searching for His will in my life, not wanting to ‘miss it.’ I was concerned about walking according to His word and His plan but somewhere along the way, I stopped looking for God to reveal the BIG plan for me. I would love for God to lay out a blueprint and tell me that this was exactly how my life was going to look when it was finished. I would know when and where each step would be made and exactly how to make each step in the best, right time. It just doesn’t happen that way.
Peter 1:7, says this: “Your faith will be like gold that has been tested in a fire. And these trials will prove that your faith is worth much more than gold that can be destroyed. They will show that you will be given praise and honor and glory when Jesus Christ returns (CEV).”
“These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (NIV).”
This is why God does not reveal everything to me at once: so that I can be tested and prove the genuineness of my faith, not to Him but to myself! I have found that more often than not, God reveals my next step rather than His BIG plan. He tests me to so that I will know that in my faith and walk with Him I am also growing in grace and knowledge. My earnest desire is to be proven by Him that I will follow, regardless of circumstances and that I will seek His will for my life. In my current journey, I am walking each day, doing what I know to do. I am reading His word and praying, living out the principles of His word, trying to be kind, genuine, and grieve with the comfort of the Holy Spirit being my constant companion. There are days when I am overwhelmed and don’t know what to do next, what the future holds, or which decision would be the best decision. I am waiting and listening to hear the voice of God and trying to not act until I know it is Him speaking to my heart. I have found throughout my life that when I am fully surrendered to God’s will, I won’t miss it. Will I make mistakes? Of course. Absolutely. However, I know that I will not miss God’s BIG plan for my entire life because I am fully surrendered to Him. I decided long ago, when I was a young woman graduating from high school that I would follow wherever He led me and that I would surrender my will and my desires to Him. As a result, I don’t have to extensively wonder what I will do next. I just step into His footstep wherever He leads.
Wherever you are today and whatever you are doing, search for God’s will in your life, His BIG plan but be willing to take the next step as He reveals your path.
